My hand holding the "toy" 💘😂 )) "Lukewarm, Lovestruck, Smitten Kitten, Head Over Heels, Totally GaGa, Completely Yours"
◊💘 Happy Valentine's Season :)) It seems appropriate for me to put up a post about the occasion early, and not leave you hanging until the exact day. For this year, I wanted to share this great love-o-meter that I bought a few years ago and which always adorns my dresser. I know it's cheesy, but I thought it was actually a really fun idea to joke around in the Valentine's season and literally ask my friends (um, you know, the kind of friends who read this), to actually choose a setting on this device to convey their feelings at the end before they leave 😂😂 ))
◊💕 I thought of this as way better than a review online, you know? It's more intimate. Just open up to me and check in with a rating 😂😅 ))
◊❤️ But I am telling you, that feeling at the end is a way deeper level. I had that idea in my mind that they should play around with honestly rating the experience — but they were not at peace with that idea that it's right. The first one said "I promise you, you are mistaken. There is no way you can measure an experience like this. It's not something that can be divided onto a measuring chart. It's so much more than that". I was actually touched because that is why I meant it as just a joke, privately in my own thoughts — but I wasn't even sure most people would already be thinking as I do. I was going by the name Unity and I was thinking : "Love is not something you can separate into parts, so it cannot be measured", and I was blown away to see that reflected back at me so readily!! But considering my whole point, I should not be surprised.
◊💘🔥 The next guy was very honest. He was blown away at that moment and just cranked it to the extreme, beyond the charts, all the way past COMPLETELY YOURS. At that point, I just thought, that's the rating of love itself in that universal sense. If it can't be broken into parts to be measured or rated, then it must be the only thing you can say about it is that it's beyond — in a good way. Better than anything, but without a shadow opposite of itself — so not to be put on a scale to imply that it would oscillate throughout this spectrum.
◊🪞 For that reason, I stopped asking them to use the toy 😂😂 )) I just decided, it's about my own psychology when it comes right down to it, and not about analysing someone else's so much so. The bottom line is, I'm tuned in and I can easily sense and feel how they are doing. I could guess what their rating would be, and I would probably be right. So what's my point really in asking them? Am I coming from insecurity in this way? I decided, of course, it was not a deep-seated insecurity because naturally, it was only a trinket that I had picked up which made me feel like being a good sport with a Valentine game. But ultimately I felt that it was a good exercise for me in realizing I shouldn't give too much power to something which plays with insecurity as a premise.
◊🖤 Cause that's what it seems sometimes when you want someone to risk being untactful and share if something isn't the deepest feeling for them. It's like sometimes, just your own insecurity is driving you to demand that they say something you already know — and it's still meaningless in the end compared to the greater truth of love.
◊💋💋 In conclusion, I'd like to share with you this picture from my previous website. This was one of the best Valentine's days for me because I had just moved to Vancouver into the apartment I now live in, and was in a better place with money and able to afford cute little shopping sprees like this one just for the art project of a photo and to give out little presents to friends. This is such a gorgeous picture but I was not able to share it anywhere on my art website or my instagram because it has condoms and that's just too explicit for some audiences. It really seems perfect for this website. I love it so much. Censored Valentine memories, uncensored here only :))
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